February 19, 2006

Today is my birthday~~ and my wish this year was a small one.  I wanted to spend it with a very special person in my Life.  And I got that opportunity.  It would have been great to spend the night with him but I guess we do what we can... It amazes me how much I love him.  And he doesn't seem to grasp even a little bit how much that is~~  Perhaps with time he will trust me.  I understand his reluctance.  I know I still have trouble understanding what it is he sees in me...  But for now I suppose I should be patient.  By the way, that snickering you may hear is coming from the people who know me.  They know I am NOT the patient type.  Anywho~~ I want to thank him for another wonderful time and a special birthday marker this year (as well as last year).  You are in my heart Baby and my Soul~~  Where I shall keep you forever!!

       February 10, 2006

The layers that make us who we are  all seem to change with each person or experience we contact.  Most seem for the better.. but the thing I don't understand is when we meet those that assume we need to have our layers altered for them to accept us.  If I can become a better person for knowing you then that is a good thing.  But to try to alter who I am to fit your requirements~~ I'm not sure that is a good thing.  I am aware I have a tendency to try to alter those around me to conform to certain ways... (i.e. sobriety, common courtesy, etc.) and I will definitely have to work on that!  I believe that you can't change someone's beliefs (nor do I want to) so why do others try to change me?  I believe in the Popeye Theory ~~ "I yam what I yam"

February 8, 2005

And Valentines Day  approaches once again.  Many see it as a "Hallmark Day".  One invented to bring revenue to florists and such.  It does seem rather silly to set aside a day for remembering our Loves.  But then again many of us need to have nudges to do the right thing.  But when I look upon the face of my Love and I see his smile I need no nudge, for my heart tells me how incredible he is.  And when his fingers touch me.. caress me.. my Soul is once again filled with Hope that I am worthy of such a man in my Life.  His style is to Love me no matter how difficult I am.  His patience is unending.  And his tolerance is unlike that of any person on Earth.  I do not need a date on a calendar to see or celebrate our Love.  For it is in my Heart that the Love dwells.  I hope on this holiday you see the Loves in your Life.. And celebrate them more than just one day a year~~~

       I am me simply because I have met you~~  You have showed me kindness and strength in the way you love me.  You have each day instilled in me trust that I had not experienced before.  You love me and sometimes it scares me~~ But most times.. it Heals me..  Comforts me..  Teaches me..  Caresses me..    There is no way I can repay you except for maybe loving you in return.  Is that enough?  I suppose the future will tell the story.  But for now I am enjoying the present with you~~

January 29,2006

       As the wind blows and I am reminded how free my soul can be my mind takes flight and occassionally touches down upon one of Life's forces~ water~ I am reminded that we all are connected.  Through space and time our paths cross and merge in many ways.  And as we linger and mingle I hope everyone pauses for just a moment to take in the essence of who we are individually and united.  We are afterall of the same species.  I know it can be difficult to wrap our minds around the esoteric but if we truly arise to the occassion then we at least have a chance to heighten our senses.  And our intelligence.  I am fortunate to have had the experiences in my Life and the generosity of those who have stepped with me from one plane to another.  I am looking forward to the next level with as much anticipation as I look back upon my footfalls with knowledge and fond memories. 

                    January 25, 2006

Well once again it is late and still I have not been able to get my ideas in the places I want them.  Perhaps it is an omen that I take a break~~  Even though all of this is educational and fun it can also get to be grueling at times.  But then most labors of love are~~ Tomorrow is yet another day~~               

                                                    January 22, 2006

       One week has passed and I admit I have been a bit lax in trying to keep up with the paths that I have been given to chose from.  Sometimes (if not most times) I have allowed the work place to take over my inner sanctity I call sanity.  I do not have high expectations of others but of myself I am aware I that I feel I must do at least 110%.  But last night I allowed myself to remember the awesome feel of a rose petal touching my skin.  Sounds like a simple thing doesn't it?  But with that single thought my mind allowed me to flow to the beauty of the nature around us. 

~The warmth of the sun upon our cheeks~

~The comfort of the church bells in the near distance~

~The sound of a childs laughter~

~The taste of our favorite treat when we least expect it~

~The scent of our lover lingering on clothing even hours after their departure~

~The anatomy of nature~

       I hope your Life allows you to enjoy all the small things there are to offer.  I will hold close to my heart those in my world and hope to include you as well~

                                           January 19, 2005

For those of you interested I will be adding small thoughts on this page.  I have been told that I ramble and that I get on my "soapbox" quite often.  I will not promise anyone that I shall keep to the middle of the road.  I am what I am (so says Popeye).  You may find it easier to just skip this page.  Or you may find yourself drifting to places you thought you would never go.  Your choice~~~~                      January 12, 2005